Saturday, September 27, 2014

Don't Deny Your Cancer

We met some people recently for the first time, and learned they have cancer. One couple talked about how they just deny it, they don't talk about it, they don't say the 'C' word.

That struck me as wrong.

For one thing, I don't know how that is possible. My wife, in the two and a half years since diagnosis, has had to talk about it. Just this week she spent more hours on the phone with doctors' offices trying to set up appointments, get questions answered, and deal with other aspects of this disease. Even though people say my wife looks good (and she does), there is still a lot going on and I don't see how pretending otherwise is possible.

But it's also not healthy to deny cancer. To deny it is to let it take the upper hand, to own you. To deny cancer is not to beat it but to give it power. To really fight this disease, and you have to fight it, you have to face it head on. You have to get to know all you can about it so you can attack it strategically.

As a Christian, I would have to say that denying cancer--or any trial you may be going through--is to deny Christ. The Bible is replete with assurances that God is with us through the storm, through the trial. To deny your caner is to live in fear instead of faith. Having cancer is not pleasant, but denying it doesn't change facts or attitude. And denying cancer, and therefore denying the opportunity for spiritual growth and perseverance and character, is to deny yourself the opportunity for blessing in the midst of trial.

My wife and I have done the opposite. We have not hidden from cancer. We have taken it head on. We speak its name, the way Christ spoke the name of demons when casting them out. We have prayed and asked for specific prayers as we fight cancer. And we are better for it.

Cancer has also given us opportunity for witness. My wife tells people in stores, at restaurants, and out walking all about it. This opens conversations and starts relationships. And when we start talking about cancer, we end talking about Christ and give those we talk to hope.

Just the other day, this came back to us. Walking the pier at Grand Haven on a beautiful early fall night, we saw an older couple getting back into their car. The woman was obviously battling cancer. "Keep enjoying sunsets," my wife said to them. When the woman looked at us, my wife explained: "I have stage 4 cancer, and you have to take every day as a blessing, enjoy life. Tonight's sunset is gorgeous isn't it?" The woman responded. "Yes it is! I'm stage 4 too. It's been 25 years now."

Wow. A 25-year stage 4 survivor. We have learned not to look at statistics, because they are based on averages and if there's anything we hear a lot it's that everyone is different. But we know that a stage 4 diagnosis usually means about 6-8 years before cancer comes back and treatments can't overcome it. So to meet a 25-year survivor was a pleasant encouragement. No denying it.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Theory About Fear of Death Bolsters Faith

(From the September 11, 2014 issue of the Grand Haven Tribune)

It seems lately that I am surrounded by death. From this newspaper I learned of the deaths of three staff members of Grand Haven Schools, a fellow community columnist,  and the young son of a local family. Meanwhile celebrities Robin Williams and Joan Rivers recently passed away. In addition, I attended funerals for the father of a friend and the mother of another friend.

I did not know most of these people. But the sudden increase in the news of deaths is striking. The people range in age from child, to middle aged, to senior citizens. They are common local folks and international celebrities. The causes of death vary. It is a reminder of mortality.

Then I got an invitation to attend a speech on campus about the subject of death. I haven’t attended the speech yet, but I read a book chapter written by the speaker. Essentially, this speaker will hold forth on “mortality salience”, or being conscious of death, and something called “terror management theory,” which posits that human beings, being conscious of their inevitable death, are in danger of being overwhelmed with anxiety. People respond by constructing cultural worldviews, which vary but have in common the “psychological function of providing meaning and value in the face of death.”

These worldviews range from religious conceptions of an afterlife to leaving a legacy of accomplishment or accumulating wealth while alive. This latter worldview is the subject of the speech he will give next week: how fear of death leads to conspicuous consumption.  In other words, people are so uptight about eventually dying that they buy a bunch of stuff while they are still alive just to distract themselves.

I’m an open-minded guy, so I can see how there is some truth to this. But I take issue with the over-generalization of this theory—even with some empirical studies he mentions—to all of humanity. Some may consciously or unconsciously buy lots of things as a distraction from a fear of death. But there could also be more variables, such as trying to keep up with social pressure. Or maybe they simply did well in life and can afford to have nice homes, cars and other benefits of wealth.

I also would challenge the idea that all or most people are out-of-control spenders. Here again, certainly that is evident in American society. In fact the Wall Street Journal recently had an article about people with six-figure salaries living paycheck to paycheck because they can’t control their spending. But I know many people who live simply, spend frugally, and are not attracted to mere things.

While I am a thoughtful academic, I also am unashamedly a Christian. I subscribe to the Christian “worldview” that the speaker coming next week considers to be, like all worldviews, a fiction. (Never mind that his theory is also a worldview and subject to consideration as fictitious by others). I believe with billions that that the death and resurrection of Jesus is a victory over death. That is a not a fiction I cling to in order to ease anxiety about the truth of death. It is a truth I profess to challenge the fictions this world throws at us.

The author concludes that humans will be better if they gave up these various psychological functions, accepted our “puniness and ultimate mortality,” and “consume life instead of being consumed by consumption.”

I wonder if the author realizes how much his own assertions mirror the teaching of the Bible. The word  “puny” is used in some translations to describe man’s condition relative to God. The inevitability of our mortality is a frequent theme. There are also many cautions against greed, consumption and the “love of money.” A famous passage asserts that “it is harder for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven than for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle.”

But the issue of fear of death is where Christianity diverts from this secular terror management theory. The phrase “do not be afraid” is replete in the Bible, spoken by prophets, angels, apostles and Jesus himself. The Christian Gospel teaches that rather than accepting death as inevitable in the manner of ancient stoics, we can accept that Christ defeated death on our behalf by dying on the cross, and being resurrected. There is nothing we can do to earn eternal life, we can only confess our sins and accept the gift of salvation. And we are not to consume life because we will one day die, but live in grateful joy and glorify God because death is not the end.


I will listen with interest to the speaker next week. But I’ll tell you right now that I am not going to admit to a fear of death or denying the inevitable. On the contrary, I accept my mortality without fear, and precisely because of that I won’t deny the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

In Tree Trimming, Homeowners Feel Powerless Against Consumers

(From the August 14, 2014 issue of the Grand Haven Tribune)

It was noticeable right away. First was the sound. The persistent angry buzz of  gas-powered machines broke the summer morning stillness. Next was the visual shock. A row of backyard trees gone, exposing the siding of the new home in the development beyond.

Neighbors felt a mix of emotions. There was the surprise. There was confusion. There was a feeling of helplessness. And there was anger.

What was happening was a clearing of trees in the backyards of a row of homes. A set of power lines runs through there, and Consumers Energy is engaged in maintaining the lines on their easement to prevent power outages from tree limbs falling during storms.

They all understand the right and responsibility of the power company to maintain the poles and wires and do what they can to maintain consistent power. In fact, power companies have a federal mandate to do this. But local neighbors are disturbed by how it is being done, by what they perceive to be excessive clearing of trees and not enough respect for their own rights and concerns as property owners.

Their primary complaint is that Consumers did not follow its own protocol of letting residents know about the planned trimming and allowing them to discuss specifics. Door hangars were left months previously, but the norm is to give two-weeks notice before actual cutting begins. They feel some trees were not trimmed but clear cut, leaving only stumps. They also feel that some trees were not tall enough to be a threat to the power lines, and others were not anywhere near underneath the power lines. One neighbor’s underground sprinkling was damaged. Add to that the loss of aesthetic view, privacy, and personal investment in landscaping, and you have a set of angry neighbors. A neighbor was offered $200 after complaining, but says the amount doesn’t come close to covering the cost of replacing landscaping.

I contacted a friend who works in public relations for Consumers, and he referred me to the company’s forestry communications director. He told me that this is an unusual case, because a neighbor in the new development behind my neighbor wanted to remove trees, do their own landscaping and put a fence around the property. They contacted Consumers about tree removal in the easement, and the Company contracted with a crew to remove trees on that part of the easement only. But that neighbor was shocked at the extent of cutting also. That particular section is clear cut, but other portions of the easement should not be cut so severely, I was told. Also, the remainder of cutting in this particular section of power line is not scheduled til November.

I was also informed that the normal protocol is to send a postcard to residents informing them of plans to trim trees. After that, an employee paints blue Xs on trees and goes door to door to talk to residents, or leaves a card with a phone number if residents are not home.  The forestry communications director told me that Consumers will meet with residents on a case by case basis to discuss questions and concerns to balance property owners’ interests and maintaining the power lines.

Consumers does remove—versus trim—about half of the trees they address. This is determined based on the species of tree and its potential to grow too near power lines, the health of the tree, and the physical relationship to power lines. All of Consumers’ foresters are certified arborists capable of making these assessments. The representative of Consumers also encouraged me to share the Right Place Right Tree concept, a program of the Arbor Day Foundation that helps homeowners select species of trees to plant that will not grow to the height of power lines. More can be found at http://www.arborday.org/trees/righttreeandplace/

In spite of assurances from Consumers, neighbors are still concerned. One had an arborist on their property and was assured that since they have a professional tree company maintain their trees that they would not be trimmed. But the trees have been marked, and this neighbor believes the company lied to them. They have moved because of it.

This set of neighbors is especially sensitive because several years ago the Spring Lake Township Planning Commission made assurances to residents that the new development behind them would not come too close to their property lines.  But at a subsequent meeting, when the developer was present but neighbors were not, plans changed. More trees were cut than they had expected to make way for new homes.

One neighbor is working to set up a meeting between Consumers representatives and a group of residents. They feel they may have more strength of voice and gain more respect as a group than they have had as individuals. Their concerns are logical—to get Consumers to be reasonable about which trees are affected, and whether they can be trimmed as opposed to clear cut.


Time will tell if Consumers actually considers the interests of their customers. As a public utility, they are a monopoly allowed by law. But they are regulated by the Michigan Public Service Commission. Other residents in the Tri-Cities who have similar issues with Consumers Energy may want to file a complaint with the MPSC, which can be done online” http://www.michigan.gov/mpsc 

UPDATE: As of September 10 neighbors informed me that Consumers met with the group of them and determined they could remove and re-route power lines behind their row of homes. So they can take out the poles and lines at no cost to the neighbors. And they will not need to cut down any trees.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

'Expressions in Ink' Has Writers Commenting on Art

(From the July 10, 2014 issue of the Grand Haven Tribune)

It would not be unusual to find me in an art gallery. I have enjoyed art since I was a child. I enjoyed it even more when I took an “art appreciation” class in college, which gave me a greater depth of understanding of what I was looking at. Since then, I have been fortunate to know and work with all manner of artists, from graphic artists and photographers to painters and sculptors.

Over the years I have visited fine art museums and galleries from the good ones in West Michigan to the Louvre in Paris and MOMA (Museum of Modern Art) in New York.

So I am not a stranger to art galleries. What is strange is that I will be part of an exhibit at a West Michigan gallery later this month.

Don’t worry. You won’t be subjected to rudimentary efforts on my part to render something worth looking at in any visual medium. I’ll actually be participating in the event as a writer.

“Expressions in Ink” is an interesting participative event hosted by the Water StreetGallery in Douglas. They have invited a number of writers, including me, to select a work of art from their current exhibit, “Not So Still Lives,” and write a short essay, poem, story or paragraph about how the art inspires us. The exhibit opened July 5. The “Expressions in Ink” event is July 19 from 5-8 p.m. at which artists will be present and writers will read what they have written about their chosen piece of art. Books by the writers will be on sale in the gallery that night.

The event coincides with the “Taste of Art” tour, which offers free trolley rides to participating galleries in Douglas and Saugatuck.

I’m excited about the event. But I also feel uniquely challenged. Earlier this week when I visited the gallery I encountered another writer and we both discussed how 100 words is not a lot. To non-writers that seems easy, but to writers that is a challenge. The other writer, a poet, said she had so much to say. Even poetry is often long form. Writing is not just the acting of putting words down, it’s choosing the right ones, and deciding which ones are not appropriate.

This column is 800 words. Each month when I write it, I normally go too long, and have to comb back through it and remove the excess. Imagine my struggle to keep my thoughts about a work of art to a mere 100 words. This is why writing is also an art.

The exhibit gives a lot to write about. “Not So Still Lives” is an effort to show that a “still life” work of art can go beyond the stereotypical painting of a bowl of apples on a table. A still life really is a depiction of inanimate subject matter. That means it could be painting, but also sculpture and other media. It also means subjects are not all fruits and flowers. Trust me, it is a fun exhibit.

I selected my work of art to muse about very quickly. It caught my eye, sparked memories or personal experience, and inspired thought. That is what art should do, and that is its value. I sat in the gallery and jotted some notes down, a series of key words that came to me, almost like a word association game. Now, I just have to put them in proper form—a haiku, a free verse poem, an anecdote, a very short essay? I’m not sure yet. Writing is about making choices, and I have work to do.

I won’t tell you more about the exhibit or the piece I selected. I will say that is worth your time to go see it. I will share this much: the “still life” exhibit reminded me that it is so easy to get caught up in life that we are too rarely still. But being still is part of life, to pause, savor something beautiful, reflect on the past, and think deeply. A mind in motion is part of an active life too, and it requires exercise to maintain it.


So, come out on the 19th to see the art, and witness my art gallery debut. It may be the only time you’ll see me in an art gallery as a participant, and not just an observer.

Monday, June 23, 2014

Professor Explains What 'Out of Office' Message Means (and Does NOT Mean)

Everyone uses them. The voicemail message or automatic email reply that says they are "out of the office" for a certain period of time. Often they give an alternate number, email address or person to contact during this absence.

Most of the time, these are short, one-week absences for a vacation or medical situation. Sometimes they are due to business travel during which rapid and frequent communication is not possible.

As a college professor, I put these messages up every year about this time, after I've finished teaching my six-week spring class and am "off contract" til things ramp up for the fall semester in mid-August. My message says exactly that: I am off contract and out of the office til mid-August. I give links to web pages with helpful information in my absence. I also provide the phone number to the main School of Communications office, where there are staff all summer long to help with various issues.

But apparently, some people don't understand what this message means. Worse, they don't understand what this message does NOT mean. These people are not just students. They are other faculty, employers and others. So, here's a quick reminder of what an out of office message means and doesn't mean.

What it means
  • "Off contract" means I am not getting paid. Professors are usually on 9-month contracts. When people are not getting paid, it means they are not working. 
  • Out of office means out of office, and out of contact. (See above about not getting paid). During those 9-months when I'm on duty, it's a 24/7 enterprise. My wife jokes in August, "see you in December." And in January she jokes, "see you in April." It's not that bad, but it is hectic. With night classes, student group activities, class preparation and grading, research projects, and the 200 emails per day that come with all of the above, I am exhausted by the end of an academic year. So I take a break. I spend more time with my wife. I read what I want to read. Because (see above) I am not getting paid, and this is the time I finally get to do those things.
  • It means you. As noted, I get 200 emails per day. There is some junk mail, and a lot of e-newsletters  I subscribe to. But there are a lot of other requests for information, advising, etc. I will check email, just to keep my inbox from exploding. But I will not respond unless to something truly urgent. I am the one decides what is urgent. The auto reply explains this. This applies  to everyone. If I respond to one email, that could open the floodgate. But, again, I am not paid. I need a break. I can't respond to emails right now. This means you too. 
What it does NOT mean

  • My auto email and office phone messages say I am off contract and out of the office. This does NOT mean you are welcome to contact me on my personal cell phone or social media accounts. The whole point of being out of the office is that I need a break (see above). Also, I am not paid (see above the above). If I need a break from 200 emails a day, why would I want a rush of messages to my personal cell phone, Twitter and Facebook accounts? (This already happened twice in the first two days of my "break"). That is not a break. That is annoying. I am out of the office and on break. I am not being paid. That does NOT mean I have taken all the hectic academic year flurry of messages home with me. 
  • My message that I am out of the office and all of the above about needing a break and not being paid does NOT mean I am not working. Actually, I give away a lot of free labor in the summer. I actually have time to focus on planning classes for fall, tackling some research projects, catching up on a stack of books related to my field and class preparation, and doing some administrative work that always gets interrupted--seemingly, every….five….minutes--during the school year. 
  • My "talk to the hand" message on email and my office phone does NOT mean I don't care. I do care about people contacting me and about their needs. But I also care about my wife (in recovery  from stage 4 cancer). I care about my own health and sanity. And as they say on the airplanes in the oxygen mask message--you need to make sure to take care of yourself first so you can take care of others. I'll be better able to serve others in the fall if I can catch a break in the summer.
So, back to my break. See you in the fall.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Neighbors' Departure Brings Mixed Emotions

(From the June 12, 2014 issue of the Grand Haven Tribune)

It was a visual definition of mixed emotions. I walked out my front door and saw two UHaul trucks at adjacent neighbors’ houses. One was at the home of a neighbor who, to put it charitably, should have moved long ago. The other was at the home of neighbors who have become really good friends and were expected to always be here.

Neighbors, in some ways, are like family. You can’t exactly choose them. Some you like and seek opportunities to spend time together. Some you acknowledge cordially. Some you avoid.

One neighbor, the one who should have moved long ago, was for a season on the neighborhood association board. In that position he alienated most everyone in the neighborhood. Since leaving the board he has kept mostly to himself. It’s not worth wasting time discussing this neighbor other than to say his departure brings relief.

The other neighbor moving is a source of sorrow. We vividly remember when they moved in 11 years ago. One conversation started a solid friendship. We had many chats in the street, spent time together at home and at various favorite locales in town. We watched their kids grow up.

They had talked for several years about moving to Florida. Then several months ago they told us about an opportunity they were going to accept down there. The planning began. It seemed unreal. But last week it became all too real. My wife helped organize and pack. On a long Saturday I helped load that UHaul truck. In early evening we chatted in the street, like always. But this was different and odd and sad. We were saying goodbye. We were actually saying goodbye.

With truck and car and kayak trailer secured, we went through a bizarre ritual dance in the street. There were hugs, and then crying, and then a joke and laughter to cover the fact that we were crying. And then a hug, and it started again. Eventually someone had to break the cycle. They had to get in the vehicles, and drive away.

If you ever talk to someone who lost a spouse or a parent or a child who lived in the same home with them, you hear about the odd emotion after their departure. Sure, our good neighbors and friends did not die. But the emotions are the same. It’s hard not to look at the house, ponder its emptiness, and ask if they are really gone. We hear a noise and look expecting them to be there. Or we look at the house in a certain angle and vivid memories of an interaction come roaring to the forefront of our minds. Our shared moments play on the screen in our heads in short clips, as moving movie trailers of memory.

It occurs to us that the neighbors we love are as important to our sense of home as the furniture, decorations, and landscaping we select. But this is more. When we come home now, it is different. It is sad. A part of us is missing.

We joked that this neighbor might be like yet another family, who moved to California several years ago. We were sorry to see them go also. But, almost one year later to the day, they moved back. They decided they missed Spring Lake, and in particular our neighborhood. Just recently we talked to this neighbor as she was walking her dog. She missed the relationships, the values, even the seasons. Their old house had sold, but they bought the one two doors down. It was hilarious and joyful to welcome them home. We laughed that the neighbor next to them might think he was losing his mind, having seen these neighbors to his east for several years and then after a one-year absence sees them to his west.


Unfortunately, we doubt the neighbors who just moved to Florida will be coming back. Boomerang neighbors are probably a rare phenomenon. But we can keep in touch. We already are. We’re planning a visit to maintain the relationship that started across the street even though it’s now across the country. Meanwhile, we can be grateful for the other good neighbors who remain around us, contributing to our sense of home.